Now that my kids are in kindergarten, lots of people are
asking me what comes next for me.
Here’s a note for everyone, please don’t ask. I don’t know and it makes me want to barf to think about it. I am still just missing the kids and
adjusting. I’ve been out of the job
market for five years. I don’t want to
do what I was doing before, but I don’t know what I want to do next. I don’t want to think about it or talk about
it. At all. But since complete strangers ask me, I can’t really rely on my
blog to reach everyone. So, here are some of the things I might say:
What I say: “Well, it will take me six months just to clean
the house.”
Translation: “I’m going to pick up a few toys, stick-vac up
the crumbs under the table, swish the toilet brush around once or twice, and
then spray some lemon-scented pine sol around the house so it smells like I
cleaned.”
What I say: “I’m going to work on my writing.”
Translation: “I’m going to read some more blogs, screw
around a lot on facebook, and maybe do NaNoWriMo again.”
What I say: “You know, they say the kids need you even more
after they start school.”
Translation: “I am cultivating a mild Pinterest addiction.”
What I say: “I’m thinking about going back to work.”
Translation: “I went on craigslist once. Didn’t see anything good.”
What I say: “Maybe I’ll have another baby.”
Translation: “You have clearly never met me because if you
had, you would know that there is no way in hell I am having another baby. Apparently, I pop those suckers out two at a
time, and I do NOT need to go through the twin infants phase of life
again. Also, my husband would kill
me. I just don’t want to get a job, and
that would be a socially acceptable way for me to get away with that.”
What I say: “I don’t know.
I’m figuring that out.”
Translation: “I like to go back to sleep after the kids get
on the bus. Wake up. Rub one out. Throw a load of laundry in.
Check facebook. Eat lunch. Switch out the laundry. Play scrabble on my phone. Clean something. Go shopping at Goodwill.
And then read a novel until the kids get home.”
What I say: [fingers in ears] “La la la la la la la.”
Translation: “When my fingers come out of my ears, you had
better change the damn subject or I just might puke on you.”
Lucas just went into 4th grade and I still haven't got a "real" job. This gig is just too good to give up without a fight. :)
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is in 2nd grade. I do content writing & (hypothetically) clean the house while she's at school. These things seem to involve a lot of naps on the couch, but my hubz doesn't complain, so there's that! :)
ReplyDelete