Clothing, pajamas, or workout-wear? A flow chart

Since becoming a stay-at-home mom, I have found that the distinction between clothing, workout-wear, and pajamas has blurred. And by blurred, I mean that it is pretty much completely gone. Ninety percent of the garments I own are made of stretch knit cotton, with the exception of a few cocktail and formal dresses, some jeans, and a very small number of “business casual” items. I have a few cashmere sweaters and some stretchy poly-Lycra items that I include in the “stretch knit” category. And that’s pretty much it. Most of my clothing is comfortable and breathable enough that it can serve as clothing, workout-wear, or pajamas.

I actually sleep au naturel, so I don’t own true pajamas. I own one Christmas PJ for Christmas morning photos—a pair of Old Navy flannel pants with ornaments on them and a top that says, “I’ve been naughty.” Other than that, on occasions that call for PJs, like late-night TV snuggles with the man, I wear the same garments I wear everywhere else. The same dress I wore out to a posh wine bar on a Saturday night will probably become the pajamas that I lounge around in all day on Sunday.

So how do you know? If you come to my door at, say, 2pm on a Sunday, how can you tell if I am dressed or still in my PJs? (Hint, if you come to my door without warning at 2pm on a Sunday and I am home, I am probably in my PJs.)

For all other times of the week, here is a helpful flow chart:


So basically if I am wearing a bra OR shoes OR jewelry OR any non-stretchy item, I consider myself dressed and good to go! Yoga pants and a tank top, no bra, but wearing shoes. Dressed! Yoga pants, tank top, no bra, barefoot, fabulous earrings? Totally effing dressed! Only when I have cast off the shackles of bra, shoes, jewelry, and all items of a non-stretchy nature do we call it PJs. And only when I am in a bra with no rings do we call it workout wear (because since the weight loss, when I sweat, my rings slip off).

If I am wearing a bra AND shoes AND jewelry AND something non-stretchy, I’m really trying to impress you. If my hair is styled too, I am pretty much ready for the red carpet.

Sad. So sad. But true.