Friday, July 8, 2011

Clothing, pajamas, or workout-wear? A flow chart

Since becoming a stay-at-home mom, I have found that the distinction between clothing, workout-wear, and pajamas has blurred. And by blurred, I mean that it is pretty much completely gone. Ninety percent of the garments I own are made of stretch knit cotton, with the exception of a few cocktail and formal dresses, some jeans, and a very small number of “business casual” items. I have a few cashmere sweaters and some stretchy poly-Lycra items that I include in the “stretch knit” category. And that’s pretty much it. Most of my clothing is comfortable and breathable enough that it can serve as clothing, workout-wear, or pajamas.

I actually sleep au naturel, so I don’t own true pajamas. I own one Christmas PJ for Christmas morning photos—a pair of Old Navy flannel pants with ornaments on them and a top that says, “I’ve been naughty.” Other than that, on occasions that call for PJs, like late-night TV snuggles with the man, I wear the same garments I wear everywhere else. The same dress I wore out to a posh wine bar on a Saturday night will probably become the pajamas that I lounge around in all day on Sunday.

So how do you know? If you come to my door at, say, 2pm on a Sunday, how can you tell if I am dressed or still in my PJs? (Hint, if you come to my door without warning at 2pm on a Sunday and I am home, I am probably in my PJs.)

For all other times of the week, here is a helpful flow chart:


So basically if I am wearing a bra OR shoes OR jewelry OR any non-stretchy item, I consider myself dressed and good to go! Yoga pants and a tank top, no bra, but wearing shoes. Dressed! Yoga pants, tank top, no bra, barefoot, fabulous earrings? Totally effing dressed! Only when I have cast off the shackles of bra, shoes, jewelry, and all items of a non-stretchy nature do we call it PJs. And only when I am in a bra with no rings do we call it workout wear (because since the weight loss, when I sweat, my rings slip off).

If I am wearing a bra AND shoes AND jewelry AND something non-stretchy, I’m really trying to impress you. If my hair is styled too, I am pretty much ready for the red carpet.

Sad. So sad. But true.

5 comments:

  1. Love the variety. We have math equations, flow charts, lists, narrative, etc. Never a dull entry. :)

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  2. This is my life. It's only 7:52 a.m. so of course I'm still in my pajamas. When my husband gets home tonight, I'll still be in my pajamas. No shame :)

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  3. Wake up in the morning wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. This is PJs. Add bra and sneakers and walk my daughter to the bus stop. PJs were magically converted into workout clothing. Run two miles (by "Run" of course I mean "Jog" which actually translates to "Walk"), come home, take a shower, put on clean sweatpants and a t-shirt. No bra or shoes, because I already did those type of things, but I'm still dressed because YES. Go to bed in these clothes, which magically transform into PJs. Repeat process. And that is how whatever I'm wearing today runs a full life cycle. I like to think that somehow I'm saving the environment.

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    Replies
    1. "But I'm still dressed because YES." Hahaha. Love it.

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